Summer is well and truly here – as this latest heatwave is reminding us. And aside from the sticky heat, I think we can all agree that this is indeed the best season.
Summer means no school, slower mornings, eating outside, trips to the seaside for a dip, ice lollies on repeat – or indeed iced coffees for us adults – and just a life that feels a little better than on those dark and gloomy winter days.
However, as all parents with young children will no doubt know, there is a lot of pressure when summertime rolls around to make it memorable and magic and to make it count. On social media we are all inundated with reminder that you only get 18 summers with your child, and so this summer, these eight shorts weeks, they really need to be perfect.
Sounds familiar? I know. And I don’t know about you, but when you are a working parents, all this round-the-clock magic making can feel very impossible, and if you are a parent worrying that you are not making summer memorable enough for your family, I see you – and know that we are all in the same boat.
However, I also think kids most often need far less to be happy than we think they do – or at least what Instagram tells us they do. Which is why I love this dad’s four-step plan for the perfect summer with kids.
Summer memory map
Taking to Threads, a dad-of-seven shared a piece of information that might just take the pressure out of our entire summer.
His whole argument? The best summer memories don’t come from elaborate plans. They come from repeatable anchors — simple acts, attainable adventures, and moments that build anticipation. He calls it the Summer Memory Map.
‘I heard a dad of 7 explain how he thinks about summer with kids. And I need you to hear this: The best summer memories usually come from repeatable anchors, not elaborate plans,’ Threads user Dylan (@parentingwithsystems) began in his now-viral Thread post where he credits another ‘dad of seven’ who gave him this advice.
So how does it work, you might wonder? What are the four steps?
4-step plan to a memorable summer
- One tiny weekly ritual
‘This should be small enough to survive a tired week. Think: Friday pancakes, Sunday evening walk, library morning, backyard popsicles, post-dinner bike ride, porch ice cream, movie night with blankets, Saturday donuts in pajamas. If it requires matching outfits, a reservation, or the emotional stamina of a camp counselor on espresso, it is too big,’ he wrote.
The point is this ritual is something your family can actually do on a random Friday when everyone is depleted from a long week.
2. One monthly “fandango”
‘A fandango is not a vacation,’ the dad explains on Threads.
‘It is not core memory Olympics.’
Instead, he says, a fandango is a ‘slightly bigger’ activity or event on the calendar that gives the month some shape. He gives examples such as a hike, backyard camping, a cousin sleepover, going to a sports event, a picnic dinner at the park, an ice cream crawl, or a museum morning.
‘The goal is not impressive. The goal is anticipatable. Kids like having something to look forward to,’ he explains.
3. One kid-led choice
‘A lot of summer plans are made around kids without being made with kids. We pick the camp, the weekend plan, the dinner, the activity, the route, the timing, and the rules. Then we wonder why they act like tiny disgruntled board members with no voting rights. They do not need to run the house. They do need a little ownership,’ he continues.
And so, he says, within reason, let your kids take the lead and suggest something fun for the family. Usually, they just want to go for ice cream or pitch-and-put or have pizza for dinner.
4. One no-phone memory moment
To be fair, we could probably all use this reminder. And the dad makes it clear he is not suggesting we all dump our phones completely, they are handy for many things, but, he says:
‘Some moments need to be lived before they’re documented.’
And so, the dad explains, this is the four-step plan you need to agree on as a family – and you won’t believe how it will shape up your summer and make it more memorable for the kids – and for you.
Try to agree on the following:
- What’s our weekly ritual?
- What’s our fandango this month?
- What choice can the kids own?
- What moment stays phone-free?
