The conversation that could shield children from becoming victims of sexual abuse might be the most important one you ever have with them.
As parents, it is our job to protect our children from harm. So often, we think of keeping them safe from physical harm. And so we baby proof and make sure to fit car seats correctly and buy helmets and knee pads when when they get their first bike.
But keeping children safe from other harm is important too, and when it comes to protecting children from sexual abuse, as well as a conversation about stranger danger, there are some other things we should be talking to them about too, one expert reveals.
The words that can keep kids safe from sexual abuse
In a post shared to Instagram, parenting coach Megan Michelson recently shared two words that can make it easier for both children and parents to identify and call out behaviour that is inappropriate and even sexual abuse.
Michelson, who runs Birds & Bees, an online resource for parents when it comes to talking to kids about bodies, sex and safety, said teaching kids the difference between secrets and surprises is a great way to help them learn how to call out something that does not feel right – and to tell you about it.
The difference between secrets and surprises
In a social media post, Michelson explains why we need to talk to kids about how anyone asking you to keep a secret from your parents is not a good thing. And that a secret is a very different thing from a surprise.
She even mentioned things we can tell our kids about secrets:
‘We don’t keep secrets in this family.’ ‘No-one should ever ask you to keep a secret from me.’ And also: ‘Secrets can be confusing and hurt people.’
Surprises, on the other hand, are different.
‘Surprises are fun and exciting,’ Michelson said is one way parents can explains the difference to kids.
‘I love surprises! Surprises are fun and exciting. Let’s surprise dad with balloons for his birthday.’
Captioning her post, the parenting coach wrote:
‘Quick tip to help protect our kids from sexual abuse: Talk to them about SECRETS versus SURPRISES.’
Michelson also reminded parents how important it is to use the correct words for body parts, and to have open and honest conversations about body parts and body boundaries.’
‘These conversations are little by little, drip drip drip. Not a one-and-done approach.’
