When you think of the birthday parties you grew up having, what stands out?
Was it the carefully curated party bags? The over-sized balloon arch featuring your favourite colours or party theme characters? The clown or magician or life-sizes princesses? Was it the giant cake made by professionals at an artisan bakery?
I am willing to bet it was neither. Because if your childhood birthday parties were in the 90s or early 2000s like mine, they did not consist of any of the above – and somehow they were still magical.
In fact, I am going to argue even better – because let’s ne honest, kids don’t care all that much about party themes and aesthetics and how great things look on Instagram once you share the snaps there. They care about the cake and the presents they get to open and having fun with their friends.
And don’t even get me started on the party bags – usually just crammed full of plastic crap that will be in the bin and on a landfill within days – so why are we doing this to ourselves? Why are parents – mums in particular – getting themselves into debt and stress and sleepless nights over kids’ birthday parties?
I think ever since social media started playing a bigger part of our lives, everything, including kids’ parties, became some sort of competition where we not only have to keep up with the Jones’ but outdo them. And can we just admit it is exhausting? And so totally weird and pointless too.
Let’s normalise normal birthday parties again
Growing up, my sister and I always had birthday parties, and they were always the best fun. Did our mum make Pinterest boards and discuss themes and spend hundred of euros on it? For sure not.
But there was pizza and a homemade cake and crisps in bowls and pinatas and balloons – and it was more than enough for us to feel like our birthdays were pure magic and everyone – including our parents – had fun.
The thing is, what creates the magic and the memories isn’t the hundred-of-euro party venue, or the chocolate fountain or the balloon arch or the insanely intricate bakery cake. It is the people there and the connection and the warmth. That is it.
And so for my little boy’s last birthday party, I decided to go full 90s, and believe me when I say, I am never looking back.
Nobody needs kids’ parties that require a party planner
Because here’s the cold, hard truth, mums: **We don’t need to spend three days prepping a party for a 6-year-old** who’s going to only care about their friends being there and maybe the cake and pressies too – but not the the handmade banner or the themed cupcakes that took four hours to decorate.
Pizza, the back garden, some Mr Price balloons, and a Colin the Caterpillar cake? YES. That’s the stuff birthday party dreams are made of.
And sure, if your child is big into Bluey or Taylor Swift or dinosaurs, great – let that shine through in one or two little details. But guys – nobody needs a kids’ party that require a party planner or spreadsheets. What we need fare more is a breather.
Science says kids birthday parties don’t need to be fancy to be fun
I think ever since the dawn of Instagram, we have collectively been treating kids’ parties as proof that we are stylish and cool and that we love our kids enough to give them this type of party.
But the thing is – our kids and their friends are not keeping score. They don’t need an agenda of activities. and a room filled with expensive one-of-a-kind decor. They need a room full of friends who are excited to be there and permission to just run around.
And science backs me up on this too.
In fact, studies shows that 87% of hosts who throw birthdays prefer more intimate, meaningful gatherings over the over-the-top extravaganzas. In other words, what creates memories isn’t the expensive bakery cake or the custom favor bags. It’s warmth. It’s connection. It’s kids playing together and shrieking with laughter. The things that cost almost nothing but create magic childhood memories.
And so I am lowering the bar. And why you should too, fellow mums.
Because lowering that bar for ‘perfect’ is actually allowing yourself – and your child – to be more present. To stress less and live more. To realising even parties are not about the stuff, but the people who are there.
So here’s to letting the party be a little messy. A little less perfect. And a whole lot of fun.
