A parenting coach has shared seven parenting habits that can ruin your child’s trust in you, and they are so common.
As parents, we raise our children as best we can, but unfortunately, we will all make mistakes here and there. Many of us were raised very differently from how we are trying to raise our own children. While our parents may have favoured time-outs, punishments, and shouting, a lot of parents now try to practice more conscious parenting, preferring natural consequences over punishments.
However, it is hard to shift habits we were raised with, or ones we have picked up, and they can accidentally become part of our everyday lives and our parenting.
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Annaliese Erin, a parenting coach who shares helpful information and tips for parents on social media, has shared seven common habits that can ‘destroy’ your child’s trust in you.
Seven common parenting habits
1. Saying I told you so – According to the coach, this can make your child feel ‘small’ and like they are not as important to you as your ‘ego’. ‘They will recognise they are wrong without you rubbing it in’.
2. Not following through with promises – While we may not be able to follow through with promises on occasion, Annaliese says that if you make a habit of being unrelaiable it will damage your child’s trust in you.
3. Being reactive – Your child will find it difficult to trust you if you are ‘unpredictable’ the mum says.
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4. Lecturing – Annaliese says that nobody likes ‘know-it-alls’ and children will find it hard to trust you if you don’t check in with them and see how they feel.
5. No repair or change – How you react to losing your temper with your child is just as important as the act itself. If you apologise to your child for losing your temper, it will make them feel safe and teach them to do the same if they lose theirs.
6. Emotional contagion – This is when you act on your feelings rather than regulating them before you act. As the adult in the situation, you need to remove yourself and regulate, then ask what the solution should be. ‘Sit down with the family and lay out the expectation.
7. Smacking – She says that this increases rebellion ‘long term and doesn’t teach self control’. She says that instead of smacking your child, you need to learn ‘positive parenting dsclipine and emotional regulation’.
