A US child therapist has sparked debate online after sharing a list of things she believes most teenagers should be able to do by the age of 16, and many parents are divided over whether the expectations are realistic or long overdue.
This parenting expert, Dr. Bree from Arizona, USA, says teenage years should be about gradually preparing young people for adulthood, rather than shielding them from responsibility entirely.
Among the skills she believes teenagers should be developing are managing their own money, holding down a part-time job, taking responsibility for their behaviour outside the home, and learning how to regulate emotions without explosive tantrums or dramatic outbursts.
Expert names the four things ‘95% of 16-year-olds should be doing’
Most therapists would agree that independence is built through experience, not age alone, and say many teenagers benefit from being trusted with more real-world responsibilities before they reach adulthood.
Simple tasks such as budgeting, keeping commitments, contributing around the house, and communicating respectfully were all highlighted important life skills, and as the four things this expert believes kids should be doing by the age of 16.
She also stressed that teenagers should begin learning to solve problems independently rather than relying on their parents to step in immediately with every difficulty or disagreement.
This is not a new discussion but an old chestnut, one that has divided parents for years. Some people believe that modern teenagers are often ‘over-parented’ and protected from basic responsibilities for too long.
Others would argue that teens today are already under enormous pressure from school, social media, and academic expectations, warning that comparisons between generations are often unfair.
Many parents would probably also say that maturity levels can vary hugely between teenagers, with some 16-year-olds ready for independence while others still need significant emotional support and guidance.
Child development experts often say adolescence is a key stage for building confidence, resilience, and decision-making skills, but they also stress that teenagers still need emotional safety and support as they learn these lessons.
