PODCAST

Child psychiatrist calls out 10 red flags in ‘teen relationships’

by Cathy Donohue / 2 months ago

A child psychiatrist has named the red flags she commonly sees in teen relationships.

If you’re parenting a teen right now, a lot of her advice may resonate as it’s not uncommon for teenagers to experience mood swings and heightened emotions as they deal with hormonal changes and all the transitions that growing up brings.

Dr Willough Jenkins says that ‘most parents don’t catch these until things go wrong’, and so she’s called out these red flags to make parents aware of what to watch out for.

The child psychologist has over 147,000 followers on TikTok and regularly shares parenting advice.

Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by everymum.

In the clip which has been viewed over 15,000 times, she says: ‘some red flags in teen relationships are easy to miss. They don’t always look like conflict. Sometimes they look like love’.

Child psychiatrist names 10 red flags in ‘teen relationships’

@drwilloughjenkins
Some red flags in teen relationships are easy to miss. They don’t always look like conflict. Sometimes they look like love. Here are 10 to know: 1. Needing to know where they are constantly Checking in is normal. Demanding location access or getting upset when your teen doesn’t respond immediately is control dressed up as care. 2. Pulling them away from friends If your teen has slowly stopped spending time with people they used to be close to, pay attention to why. 3. Feeling responsible for the other person’s emotions “I can’t break up with them, they’ll fall apart.” That’s not love. That’s emotional hostage-taking. 4. Constant reassurance-seeking Needing to prove their feelings over and over again. Never feeling like enough. 5. Walking on eggshells Monitoring their own mood, words, or behavior to avoid upsetting their partner. 6. Jealousy framed as flattery “They’re just protective because they really like me.” Jealousy that controls behavior isn’t a compliment. 7. Guilt used as a tool “If you loved me you wouldn’t do that.” Healthy relationships don’t require guilt to function. 8. Digital monitoring Pressure to share passwords, checking each other’s phones, needing to be in contact constantly. 9. Shrinking themselves Changing opinions, interests, or how they dress to keep the peace or avoid conflict. 10. Something just feels off This one matters. Teens often know something isn’t right before they can name it. So do parents. Healthy relationships have room to breathe. If something feels like pressure instead of closeness, it’s worth a conversation. Save this for when your teen is a relationship you aren’t too sure about… #parentingteens #teenmentalhealth #raisingteens #teenrelationships #parentingtips
♬ original sound – The Famous Grave Co.

She lists the things that she sees as ‘red flags’ and says that if these are happening, it may be worth addressing in order to improve the relationship.

The first is that while checking in is great but if their significant other is asking where they are at every moment can come across as controlling, with the child health expert describing it as ‘control dressed up as care’.

Another red flag is when your teen pulls away from people they used to spend time with. If this is happening find out why.

Other red flags include feeling responsible for their boyfriend / girlfriend’s feelings and that they can’t behave how they want to for fear of upsetting them. This goes hand in hand with ‘walking on eggshells around them’, another major red flag.

Constant reassurance which is when they have to constantly tell their partner how great they are and ‘shrinking themselves’ when they change their opinions or ideas in order to fit in with the other person’s feelings.

Dr Willough explains these and other red flags in her video and also offers other advice on parenting teenagers, and what to be aware of, on her social media channels.

The child psychiatrist says her aim is to help parents raise ’emotionally healthy kids’ and she offers free parenting guides and parenting resources to navigate this parenting stage.