A mum has opened up about experiencing gender disappointment and has been praised for her frankness.
UK mum Char told TikTok that she “was so disappointed when I found out I was having a boy, I really thought I was destined to be a girl mum, and this is coming from a girl who suffered with infertility”.
The mum-of-two spoke about the “horrendous guilt” of being disappointed that she was expecting a baby boy when she hoped to have another girl but she is assuring other parents that this feeling is completely normal and it does go away.
“The guilt I felt for even thinking that when I found out who is a boy, was horrendous,” the mum explained in the video.
“I’ll repeat again, it is okay to admit this – it doesn’t make you a bad mum, and it certainly doesn’t make you ungrateful. It’s more common than you think.”
Char went on to say that once her baby boy was born “everything fell into place” and she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
“Although I didn’t see myself with a boy, I now couldn’t live without one,” she explains, adding that her son is “the apple of [her] eye.”
@char.mumlife Just an honest chat about gender disappointment for Mums. Its a thing and your emotions are valid! ✨ #vlog #toddlermom #toddlersoftiktok #mumtok #relatable #gendereveal #genderdisappointment ♬ original sound – Char ✨ Motherhood
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People shared their thoughts in the comments with many praising the mum for her honesty and admitting that they also experienced gender disappointment.
“A type of grief”
One person said: “100% it’s not the disappointment of them being who they are, it’s the disappointment of not/never having what you’ve pictured in your mind-sometimes your whole life! It’s like a type of grief.”
“This is amazing for you saying this, should definitely be spoken about more! I felt this when I found out it was twins, I wasn’t happy! But now I would never change it and I could never imagine,” another added.
A third spoke about the “overwhelming” feeling of gender disappointment, writing: “I cried my eyes out when I found out I was having my second boy. I love my boys, but wow, it was overwhelming at the time.”
