A therapist has shared some important information for parents who may have lost focus of their relationship a little.
Parenting really tests a relationship, and sometimes you can forget to prioritise it without meaning to. It’s understandable, our children are such a focus in our lives for so many years, and with their busy schedules, not to mention our own, it can be hard to make time for yourself and your relationship.
So date nights get postponed and conversations become about the kids and their lives until one day you realise that you haven’t had a date night in months.
It’s not the end of the world and it’s completely normal. But it is important to realise so you can give your relationship the TLC it needs.
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‘Psychological things’ to help your relationship as a parent
A mum-of-two, therapist and life coach, Antonia, tells followers that becoming a parent is ‘one of the biggest transitions a relationship will ever experience’.
She says that ‘research consistently shows relationship satisfaction often declines in the early years of parenthood, not because couples stop loving each other, but because stress, sleep deprivation, mental load and responsibility increase dramatically.’ The mum says that the relationships that ‘stay strong’ aren’t the ones with the fewest problems, but the ones where both people feel ‘appreciated, emotionally safe, understood and valued’.
If you find that this doesn’t reflect your relationship, Antonia has some tips to help keep your relationship strong.
The mum says that the following tips ‘genuinely help’:
1. Express appreciation for the other one regularly
2. Repair after conflict instead of avoiding it
3. Share responsibility, not just tasks
4. Stay curious about each other’s experiences
5. Protect your friendship, not just your parenting partnership
6. Speak kindly when stressed
7. Make space for emotional connection
‘I think one of the biggest causes of resentment after children isn’t actually the washing, the bedtime routine or the endless jobs. It’s feeling unseen while carrying them. I see this in the women I work with all the time,’ the therapist finished.
@becomingher.therapy Having children is one of the biggest transitions a relationship will ever experience. Research consistently shows relationship satisfaction often declines in the early years of parenthood, not because couples stop loving each other, but because stress, sleep deprivation, mental load and responsibility increase dramatically. Psychologically, the relationships that tend to stay strong aren't necessarily the ones with the fewest problems. They're often the ones where both people feel: – appreciated – emotionally safe – understood – valued – like they're on the same team Things that genuinely help include: – expressing appreciation regularly – repairing after conflict instead of avoiding it – sharing responsibility, not just tasks – staying curious about each other's experience – protecting your friendship, not just your parenting partnership – speaking kindly when stressed – making space for emotional connection I think one of the biggest causes of resentment after children isn't actually the washing, the bedtime routine or the endless jobs. It's feeling unseen while carrying them. I see this in the women I work with all the time. Because when people feel understood, relationships tend to feel lighter. If motherhood has left you feeling overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted or disconnected from yourself, I've created a free Overwhelmed Mum Reset Guide packed with psychology-informed tools and practical support. You can download it via the link in my bio. Follow for more motherhood psychology, emotional wellbeing and relationship content. 💌 #motherhood #mumlife #mentalload #honestmotherhood #relationships ♬ Little Miracles – Seb Wery
