Back-to-school might bring relief for parents eager to slide back into a more regular routine, but it can actually be a huge source of anxiety for your child.
The novelty of seeing friends and meeting their new teacher can be chipped away by some very real concerns, from figuring out friendships to coping with academic woes and separation anxiety.
This kind of anxiety can be difficult for parents to navigate, and one expert has identified a big mistake that parents make while trying to calm their child’s anxiety.
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Biggest back-to-school mistake parents make
The creator, MyChildAnxietyAndMe, who is trained in child anxiety support, has zeroed in on the mistake parents can make during the summer months.
‘The biggest mistake that I see is that they spend the whole summer trying to make their child feel less anxious… we all want our child to feel less anxious about stuff, don’t we? Of course we do. It’s in our nature, but it’s the way that we go about it.
‘Confidence isn’t created by removing the anxiety; it’s created by learning to cope with it when it’s there… If we spend the whole of the summer going “it’ll be fine, don’t worry about it, don’t be upset, your best friend is going to be there, then you’re trying to make that feeling disappear, so instead of trying to make your child feel like nothing will go wrong, help them make a plan.’
@mychildanxietyand_me Is your child anxious about starting school or transitioning in September? You are not alone. But we need to make sure we are preparing them for the worse case scenario by creating a plan on when things go wrong. #schoolanxiety #schooltransitions #childanxietyawareness #childanxiety ♬ original sound – MyChildAnxietyandMe
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She goes on to say that very few parents take the time to prepare them for stressful situations, but when you teach children problem-solving, you’re not just teaching them confidence; you’re teaching them capability and resilience as well.
The signs your child may be experiencing back-to-school anxiety can range from physical complaints such as stomach aches to changes in their sleeping patterns and difficulty concentrating.
Spotting the signs of back-to-school anxiety
So how else can parents help? C. Leigh McInnis, executive director at Newport Healthcare in Virginia, told Parents.com that there are a number of steps to follow:
Listening
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Listening to your child when they show anxiety is hugely important.
‘If you notice signs that your child may be struggling with stressor anxiety, it’s important that they feel comfortable enough to express what they are feeling to you. You should also make an effort to be present and assure your child that they are not alone,’ they said per Parent.com
Practice School Routines
Here, Innes ties in with MyChildAnxietyAndMe advice to make a plan and encourages parents to do a run-through of what a school day will look like.
‘This means waking up at a set time, eating breakfast, packing their school bag, and travelling to and from school… encourage them to give feedback on their successes and challenges, including potential pain points, so you can work through them together.
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Arrange Play Dates
If your child has anxiety around connecting with their classmates, then arrange some play dates for them before term starts to help them to ease their way back into the new school year.
